On culture

I like to think of my job as twofold – I have my work at the health center, and my work as a “cultural ambassador” to the United States. As volunteers, we like to throw around words like cultural ambassador, soft diplomacy and government representative. Essentially what this means is that we are often the only American that members of our communities interact with, and the only person many Americans know who is living and working in these communities, and that for lack of better words, we better not fuck it up.

For those who are unaware of the Peace Corps Mission, I have copied it below from the Peace Corps Website.

To promote world peace and friendship by fulfilling three goals:

1. To help the people of interested countries in meeting their need for trained men and women.

2. To help promote a better understanding of Americans on the part of the peoples served.

3. To help promote a better understanding of other peoples on the part of Americans.

We are often asked to remind our administrative teams and programming staff about our mission, and embarrassingly many of us fail to do so. However, it is something I find very comforting when I think about my success as a Peace Corps Volunteer. Oftentimes, that success does not come in the form of “helping people” or “making the world a healthier place”, as I try to do. But it does come in the form of better understanding of people, on behalf of myself and my community, which leads to greater knowledge, respect and happiness.

As 2/3 of my job is to “share culture”, I spend a lot of time thinking about Rwandan culture. I am often the loudest in a group shouting about how I love Rwandan culture. Like all cultures, it is complicated and is not one size fits all, not perfect, and not easy. As an outsider in a nearly homogenous society (a society which can be bested summed up in two words: “turi kumwe”, we are together or we are one), I often feel very different. Arguably the most important part of Rwandan culture, is also what makes it so difficult to integrate into. As Americans, we hate being stared at, called out as “foreigner” or followed by children on runs – my least favorite sound in the world is that of a child’s flip flops hitting the ground as they sneak up behind me to join my run. What I don't like is easily dwarfed by what I love - below is a list of my Top 10 favorite aspects of Rwandan culture.

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1. Focus on family, neighbors and community

Rwanda is a small country – about the size of Maryland, I think. In Rwanda, everybody knows everybody. You cannot get on a bus without seeing somebody you know, or attend a party or meeting, and not have one mutual acquaintance or coworker. Rwandans are community oriented, to say the least. I have grown to love living in a small town, and the intimacy that comes with it.

2. Greeting

On our first day in Rwanda (a now distant memory!), our Country Director, Keith, walked around the room, shaking all of our hands and saying good morning. This was our most important lesson of the day – the importance of greeting everyone. In Rwanda, you are expected to greet everyone, with a handshake, smile and a “good morning/evening, how are you?, I am fine thank you”. This extends to people you don’t know, on the street, in shops, on the bus – everywhere you go. This is one of the most important lessons I will take with me back home to the US.

There are also hilarious habits I have picked up on, that will cause me to severely blush, if I bring them back to the US. When Rwandans greet each other, there are essentially three polite options. You can give a simple handshake, but grab your forearm, around your elbow-pit, at the same time with your left hand. You can also do this while handing something to somebody, and it is considered very polite. Secondly, you approach somebody with both arms out, simultaneously grabbing each other, right hand on their upper arm, and left hand on their forearm. This also is followed by a handshake. Lastly, you can hug somebody, which requires three hugs, touching heads or faces on the right, left, and right again. This should also be followed by a handshake.

A friend’s mom recently came to visit, and after hugging her, I put out my hand for a handshake, gripping firmly to my own forearm with my left hand. She looked at me like I was crazy, and that was the moment I knew I would be done for upon arrival in the US.

3. Kinyarwanda

Kinyarwanda is an insanely difficult language, one I have written about in past blog posts, and something that brings me utter joy. It is a puzzle, a challenge, and to be able to speak with somebody in their mother tongue is a gift and privilege. As native English speakers, this isn’t ever something we think about – we expect those around us, whether in America or while traveling throughout the world, to be able to speak to us in English. Furthermore, we are often rude to people when they cannot. When I speak to somebody in Kinyarwanda, or sing hymns with my choir in Kinyarwanda, it brings people a lot of joy and happiness, and it builds mutual respect and understanding.

4. Helpfulness

Rwandans go out of their way for one another, and they go out of their way for me. Most importantly, they do this without any expectation of being rewarded or paid for their help. I had my friend, our local electrician, come over to change a lightbulb last year. I gave him money for both the bulb and his services, and he couldn’t believe I was paying him to change the bulb. A few weekends back, after four days without water, one of our health center cleaning staff members filled by 20L jerry can and hauled it a half mile to my house for me. Little did he know, he was saving me both a very difficult (read: impossible) walk and endless embarrassment. Of course, he got to my house quicker than me, and turned around before I could offer him money – which I doubt he would have taken.

5. “Mmmmmmmm”

Without a doubt, responding to anybody without using words is rude. On our recent trip to Tanzania, when people on the beach tried selling us goods and services, all of us responded to their questions and constant pestering with a classic Rwandan response: “Mmmmmm”. They told us that on Zanzibar, people are nice to one another. Confirmed my suspicions – this is not a polite way to respond to people anywhere but in Rwanda.

Despite it totally being rude, I absolutely love it, and love that it can mean anything, depending on tone and context. It keeps us all on our toes! Just when you think you are making sense speaking Kinyarwanda, because somebody has given you the “mmmmm”, they actually didn’t understand a word you said. It can mean yes, no, maybe, very much, I don’t understand, I do understand, etc. It is anything but impolite to respond nonverbally here, and although we all pick up on language and cultural cues, nobody “mmmms” quite like Emma Pence.

6. Visiting

It is completely acceptable to just show up. No invitation, no problem. If you wait for one, it might never come.

7. Happy New Year!

On February 23rd, I was wished “Umwaka mushya muhire!” – Happy new year! I don’t know why I love this, but I do. I equate it with Rwandans desire for progress and development, celebrating change and new seasons of life. This might not be an accurate assessment of why they celebrate the New Year more than anyone I have ever met, but I love it nonetheless!

8. Rwandan Parties

Rwandan parties follow a schedule, which is not to be broken. If you don’t believe me, ask anyone who attended by recent baptism – the party was scheduled down to the minute, with speeches, lighting candles on the cake, popping a bottle of champagne, and performances by our choir and children dancing. When we finished the party, a small group stayed behind at the Parish and it was announced that we were to “feel free” and that there was no “protocol” anymore. The structure, something that at one point was foreign to me, has allowed me to understand where exactly we are in a Rwandan party – it has become a comfort to me.

9. Religion

The emphasis on religion, and the reason I appreciate this, is related to the focus on community. Religion itself is critical in Rwanda, but the communities people have as a result of their church affiliations is what is truly special. People are highly active in their religious communities, singing in choirs, teaching children about Rwandan culture and religion, acting as Godparents, and attending events with religious leaders.

When I attend church services, it reminds me of a randomized control trial of my village – health center staff, community health workers, teachers, choir members, bar owners, my neighbors, boutique owners, kids, moms from our programs, drunks, old women, people from the road. There is at least one person from each part of our community, and it acts as somewhat of a microcosm. Going to church means I get to see my friends and neighbors, all in one place at one time. Usually I love this – on days where services last four hours, not as much.

10. Development and progress

This is undoubtedly a country that is forward-thinking and makes it an inspiring place to work and live. As volunteers, we are living in the midst of massive development, at all levels of government and society. There are growing pains – like the sudden switch the use of English in schools and workplaces – which are frustrating and troublesome. But there is also an exceptional amount of support for work that is bettering the lives of the poorest citizens. My coworkers work from 7AM until 5PM every day, often later and on the weekends, to help families and women and children and the sick and poor, for very little pay and recognition. They do it because they love their country and their communities. This lesson is one that we as Americans can, and must, learn from.

11. An honorary number eleven – clapping on beat

Rwandans always clap on beat – in mass, in meeting, at school. Free-for-all clapping is absolutely unacceptable.

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When compiling this list, I cannot help but think of Chimamanda Adichi’s Ted Talk about the danger of the single story (watch here if you are interested!). We watched this during our training, and I think it is so applicable to Rwandan culture, and how it is portrayed via Peace Corps Volunteers. It is also something I am highly conscious of when talking about the United States and American culture – whatever that is exactly – with Rwandans. Rwandans, like Americans, have a diversity of experience, thought and habits, and I hope this list brings to light some of those that have impacted me.

Rwanda is known by most Americans for two reasons: the 1994 Genocide Against the Tutsi and the mountain gorillas. Neither of these two factors adequately describe the complexity that is current Rwanda – they are just that, factors. I strive to tell you all different story, one that is rich with anecdotes and experiences, peppered with humor, and honestly, full of love, admiration and respect for this culture. Could I harp on the things that annoy me? Sure, but when I put on my rose-colored sunnies in five short months, that isn’t what I will remember or yearn for.

*Disclaimer: There are about a million other things I love about Rwandans and Rwandan culture, and I hope that shows in past and future blog posts! As my service nears the end, I promise to post and share as much as possible.